Current status

Not that anyone is checking the date and times I post, but in case anyone has and is wondering: I’m home sick today. I’ve been dealing with a lovely cough/chest cold for the past week and it finally nailed me good this morning. I woke up and thought:

‘No fucking way I can make it to work today.’

You’ve all had that moment of assesment in the morning, when you’re sick and asking yourself if you’re sick enough not to go. Sometimes you push down that flicker of guilt and stay home anyway, or if you’re my father you ignore the flashing lights that say ‘You have typhoid! For heaven’s sake stay home and spare the world!’. Dad works in almost any state (except when his face is peeling off but only because of his horrified co-workers not because of his own discomfort)

My manager is in town for a week (she lives in Chicago) and today would have included some meetings I should be a part of. But over here if you’re noticably sick AND come to work you are not appreciated for hard work, you are scorned.

This is probably scorn on two levels. One: you’ve ruined the bell curve, if you show up sick, then the rest of the pansies must do so as well and Germans love their sick leave (hint: it’s unlimited). Two: Germans have a healthy respect for illness. The minute they feel something coming on they down all kinds of tinctures and alternative herbal remedies for strengthening the immune system, they drink special teas and wrap a scarf around their neck (I think the even do that for broken limbs. If you’re sick you signal it to the world with THE SCARF. AROUND YOUR NECK.) They are just a few years shy of going Chinese about it and wearing a face mask.

When you’re sick you stay home. You get better and you come back to work. This is the holy order of things. No one likes a martyr.

This morning I did the assesment and felt no guilt. Calling in to report my condition I realized when speaking for the first time that I could have a very short career change as a throaty sexy jazz singer, my voice sounds like it’s coming out of my sternum its so deep. Always good to have a convincingly throaty voice when calling in sick.

This is especially helpful this time because we’re having an Indian Summer and this weekend should be in the 70’s AND we have a holiday on Tuesday so lots of people have taken vacation. I have no vacation left so being sick would be the only way I could have a long weekend. So it’s good that I went to the doctor, got examined and given drugs and had a convincingly deep sick (yet sexy) voice because without all that no one in their right mind would believe I really was sick.

Which I really am, which is why I’m home.

Cough cough.


One response to “Current status

  1. So, I now have to go on-line to learn you’re sick? At least I also get to read about myself.