One to grow on

Talking to a co-worker about birthdays, the topic of ‘birthday spankings’ came up, I stopped when a look of confusion and disbelief came across his face.

“What is it?”

“Well, you said spanking.”

“Yeah but no one did it.”

“But did they ever?”

“As a kid yeah… it was symbolic, not a real spanking.”

“Who spanked you?”

“It depended: teachers and parents mostly.”


“What, you’ve never had a birthday spanking? …with a pinch to grow an inch and one to grow on and all that?”


“Really? But you’re from Grass Valley, it can’t be so different from Sacramento.”

“Guess it is.”

“Well I’m not the only one who’s done this.”

“Well I haven’t.”

“Well, ask someone else, you’ll see”

(another American coworker is called, a fellow Irish catholic)

(hanging up the phone) “Ok you’re right, others have done this. “

“See I told you.”

“This makes the story you just told much more normal.“

“Exactly, now you see why it was funny.”

“Apparently I’m the only one who hasn’t been spanked on their birthday.”

“Well if someone offers these days I suggest you go for it.”

“As long as it isn’t your dad.”

“As long as it isn’t anyone from my extended family.”


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