Indications that I am losing my mind or my pant pockets have holes in them…

This morning I sat at the kitchen table and went through five cookbooks, looking for ideas on what to serve four women for a luxurious Pre/Anti-Valentine’s Day dinner.

I made a list. I checked it twice.

I then headed downtown to buy some of the ingredients so I could do a dry run tonight. Walking into the store, I reached into my pocket for the list.

Not there.

Hmmm. I checked all pockets, doing that somewhat perverted-looking number where you reach inside inside your coat to check all your pockets. This always looks at best like you’re scratching something you were always taught not to in public. This yielded no list, but a few sideways glances.

After buying what I needed at that store without the aid of a list, I got a call that forced me to go back home for a minute. Normally this would annoy but the only thought that came to mind was, Aha! I can find my list.

Not only was the list no where to be found in my bag and pockets (yep searched twice), it was also not on the floor, table or any visible surface of the apartment.

I sat down at the kitchen table and made a new list. I stuck this list in my pocket and went to get my coat to go back out again and finish shopping. After donning my coat I thought I’d better stick that list in my wallet this time and reached into my pocket to retrieve it.

Yup, you guessed it. NO list!

At this point I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind along with the stupid lists. I’d had it seconds before but it was gone. A thorough search of the apartment produced nothing.

Certain I was nuts, but certain even more that I couldn’t go shopping without a list (although starting to wonder if I was ignoring divine intervention and was headed for a train wreck or something), I made a new list (this is number three for those keeping track), stuck it in my wallet, and headed out the door.

Walking into the Sbahn station to head back downtown, I see a piece of paper blow by and catch on the step in front of me. I walk past it but then stop and turn around and pick it up.

My originial list. I shit you not.

Never found list number two. There were no train wrecks or Final Destination-style near misses either.


Comments are closed.