It was a possible upcoming business trip that forced me to pay attention to the signs that have been popping up lately. Sweet and loving one second, agressive and unreasonable the next. These ornery phases came on quickly and were just as quickly gone again. A quick squall and then calm seas and smooth sailing.
Until the next time he gripped too hard or forgot himself.
I was clumsy too, I could have chosen not to put myself in certain situations that I knew would set him off. I mean, I know him better than anyone, so I can predict and prevent it right? And if I don’t, whose fault is it really?
This kind of thinking has been the reason I’ve been putting it off, knowing that I’ll have to face the music one day or get used to explaining marks on my hands and arms as just ‘love bites’. He just doesn’t know his own strength, got carried away. It happens, you know?
But I knew that something would either force my hand or I would wait until a real explosion happened that I couldn’t explain away or ignore anymore. Luckily I didn’t get to wait and see.
In order for me to go on this trip, someone has to be willing to step in my shoes and assume my roll. But while he’s great for a day or two, after that the guest feeling wears off and you’re left with the honest personality. Could I leave such a timebomb behind me ticking away, ready to make serious trouble?
Tomorrow will decide for sure, but I think the answer to the question is that I won’t have to. I called the doctor and, after some explanation, made the appointment. In order to be free to travel the twins have to go. After tomorrow morning it will be over, and I’m sure it’s the right decision, even if I feel bad about it now.
It’s time for Fergus to lose the balls. Tomorrow morning.
I hope he can forgive me.
There can be only one…
…man in this household.
Check your balls at the door sweetie.