How Fergus Learned That Life Has Its Ups and Downs and I get to go to IKEA

Setting: It’s Friday. I’m in my cleaning clothes, not cleaning, but doing email and reading the Internet, because that’s more fun.

As I am innocently finishing an email, when – *bang* – I hear the crash of something small-ish in the living room. Wanting to finish my email I very effectively yell at my cat Fergus from the other side of the apartment to “cut that shit out, whatever it is he’s doing”.

Silence.

I continue to finish my email. Three minutes later – **!!KA-BLANG!!** – there is a HUGE crash from the living room and I jump out of my chair yelling jesusfuckingchristwhatthefuckisthatgoddamit as I run into the hallway just in time to see a bristle-brush orange tail exiting the living room at top speed and whipping through the doorway into our bedroom, claws scrabbling across the tiles in a hopeless attempt for more speed.

I walk into the living room and the first thing I see is this:

books

After taking that in for a second, I look up and see this:

no shelf

Going on a search for the culprit I find he’s taken refuge in his ‘safe space’ and other than being scared stiff as a board, and fine-where-he-is-with-no-intention-of-coming-out-any-time-soon-thank-you, apparently unharmed:

guilty

After making sure he wasn’t bleeding internally or broken but in shock, I sent Oliver this cryptic email and then meanly took forever to get around to posting the story online, but there you go. It’s Friday after all…and Friday the 13th at that.

Add home repair to our list of things to do this weekend, honey. And you know how you said that the shelf could take a lot of weight? Well apparently we’ve found the limit: One orange cat.

Now I need to go pick up a lot of crap off the floor.

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4 responses to “How Fergus Learned That Life Has Its Ups and Downs and I get to go to IKEA

  1. Devil cat! But very cute 🙂

  2. May I humbly suggest Fischer brand wall anchors? They were recommended to me, who know practically nothing about construction, concrete/brick walls behind plaster, hole drilling, hanging stuff, etc. They made our kitchen shelving quite sturdy.

  3. Thanks Cliff, but there’s an even better solution: I need to read the weight limit on the shelf and believe…Poor Ferg may have been the catalyst for disaster, but it was my own fault.

    Cook books get really heavy!

  4. I just loooove the look on Fergus’s face, which clearly says, “This is all *your* fault, you know…”

    :o)

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