Getting back on that horse.

I’d hoped to get pregnant again right away. Of course. After being tossed into the planning-limbo of early pregnancy, I found the place after a miscarriage to be even worse. It felt like negative planning land. I never wanted to be one of those women who obsess about pregnancy or who approach the whole process with a battle plan. I didn’t want to have to think about it. After a false start of sorts, I just wanted to get on with it already so my life could continue.

Neigh, we weren't having much luck.

But it was hard to relax. My mind had been set on another path, I’d seen that this is in our future. Not being headed in that direction was frustrating. I didn’t want to plan my summer vacation. If I was pregnant I wouldn’t want to be at huge desert party. Renovate an apartment? Well, do we plan space for a baby or not??

My doctor had said relax. Go ahead and try right away, but don’t expect anything for the next few months.

But nothing was happening, and it was annoying us both.

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3 responses to “Getting back on that horse.

  1. Oh good luck lady!! Maybe relaxing and taking up baking might help? Maybe that’s lame but the best and most therapeutic/ relaxing thing for me is baking, which is why I became a pastry chef. I wish you all the best!!

  2. 🙂 you’re right of course, relaxing is a great idea. I’d say I’ve half succeeded at that. The fact that I’m all of a sudden posting just on this topic may seem anything but relaxed, I know, however it’s a year’s worth of thoughts on that topic. I pretty much stayed away from this blog to avoid stressing about it…I’ve been off trying to relax. Now that I want to write again I just have to get this part of my year down and out before I can move on.

    Baking is great therapy, and I love to cook, but I’m glad I didn’t do too much of that because poor Oliver and I would have looked the worst for it! As a pastry chef you must be in a great position to be able to bake and then feed it to the masses. 🙂 Much better for the waistline!

  3. It is much better on the waistline, although my German cannot stop eating it long enough for me to give it away. So I’ve decided to make only somewhat healthy treats and not tell him. That seems to work.

    If writing helps, do it!! It doesn’t matter, you need to have an output for all the frustrations, and that will help you move on. Best of luck, and I’ll be reading!

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